Day 17: Still On the Beam...By a Nose

Quick report...no complaints today...only 19 more days to go.

Day 16: A Complaint Free World

Now get this. I'm trying. Will Bowen's concept of a complaint-free world and the eponymous book that lays out the strategy is, admittedly, ambitious. I came pretty close to completing 2 consecutive days, but I crapped out with an unexcusable computer glitch, followed by a complaint.

Now, in the modern world of bookselling, reliable computer communications is essential. Human error still intervenes to complicate deliveries, but when you computer software won't work as promised, it exacerbates the problem.

(Deb, if things worked the way you want them to, the discount would now be 64% off retail.)

So we begin again. 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. Thanks, friend, for withholding your juicy gossip. It was really a supportive gesture.

For the record, I did reach 5 straight days and that's my "best" so far. I've been asked to speak to a civic club next week, so I hope to be able to report something better than that when I show up.

It ain't easy "been" complaint free.

Days 12-15: Sorry to be so late!

The big news is that I broke again...Saturday morning, with a purely instinctual complaint. The details don't really matter, but what I did was a purely routine, natural, and all-too-common complaint, made without thought or pretense.

This illustrates the dilemma. If one is a complainer, and I surely am, then complaining comes naturally. Avoiding complaint and the avoiding the ear pollution one inflicts on others around us requires resolve and discipline.

As I write this, I claim two straight days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. There have been a few close calls, and perhaps others would claim that I did criticize. For the record, any reader who wishes to buy the book "A Complaint Free World" is entitled to claim a 32% discount off the retail price. So far as discounts go, that's it. We reached the maximum discount level under this challenge.

Now, I don't have any financial incentive to stop complaining. I have even less financial incentive to sell the book. But this has never been about money. It's about a book and a concept that I grow ever more convinced is one that needs to be shared.

Please drop by the store, sit down in one of our marvelous puff chairs, and read a chapter of Will Bowen's book. Maybe together we can change the culture.

Day 11: MmmmMmmmMmmmm!

Wow! You wouldn't believe what a good post I had in this space just seconds ago. That was way back when I was about to report that I had made it one full day in my quest to go 21 straight days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, as suggested by Will Bowen's "A Complaint Free World."

The Blogger ate my homework! Sooooooooooooooooo much for that. Startin' all over again. Discount? 16%.

Anyway, here's what I wrote, as best I can remember it.

Ann and I have been eating well, and eating good all summer. We signed up for a CSA last spring and just completed a 25-week subscription. CSA doesn't stand for Confederate States of America, but Community Supported Agriculture. Four (Kentucky) family farms offered the roll-the-dice seasonal bounty of their fields to families willing to pay in advance for almost half a year's worth of fruits and vegetables.

Even with the drought, it was a success for us. Except for the odd banana pepper, and that batch of mustard greens Ann (intentionally, I believe) let go dry, we ate it all, although it was often a stretch for Ann to plan menus on the fly every Wednesday.

We haven't decided yet whether to re-up for next year (they're offering a pre-pre-pay discount for next season) for a number of reasons. We always enjoyed buying from local farmers at the farmers' market downtown, but it was less necessary this year...we often had seven days worth of produce to consume. We'd love to find a Hoosier CSA, too.

So, tonight we had acorn squash and striped squash, fresh spinach, fresh greens salad, and a loaf of French bread. Ann stuffed the squash with Italian sausage, so I'm feeling very international. Up to a few minutes ago, I was writing a minor funny about how close I came to complaining today. Then the computer glitch caused me to COMPLAIN.

Still, here it is (was?). Ann started talking about a dish she once prepared with squash (my stomach was interested but my brain disengaged and went into smartass mode) and bulgar wheat. I responded with "I don't like vulgar wheat. I prefer my wheat refined."

Lame, right? And Ann agreed, completely ignoring my attempt at a joke. I feigned insult. And that was as close as I came to busting out today. I sat down, fired up the ol' laptop, and began my report. When I got about this far, IE bailed and my entire post was deleted.

You know, without computers, I couldn't keep you informed as to my progress. But then, without computers, I would have made it to a second day without complaining!

If you are interested in supporting family farms in Indiana, watch this space. If you're convinced about CSA's and want to sign up for the Kentucky program, visit www.familyfarmproject.com.

Oh, and in books news, the novel authorized by the estate of Margaret Mitchell to follow "Gone With the Wind" releases on Tuesday, November 6. I think I've brought in enough copies (they arrived today) of "Rhett Butler's People," the continuing story of the classic 20th Century take on the 19th Century War of Northern Aggression. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

We're obligated to keep the book under embargo. That means we can't sell it or display it until Nov. 6. But we do have it on our "holding" shelves and store staff are allowed to read it in advance of the on-sale date. Interested?

Day 10: Going Postal

Well, so much for that. Agitated already by the Daniels property tax "relief" plan and the concomitant lies being spread by a right-wing anti-tax group that's making New Albany its summer home, I held it together for a couple of hours on Wednesday. Then, a patron called to report a particularly egregious example of government incompetence, and I blew.

It probably wasn't a good day to be engaged in Will Bowen's "A Complaint Free World" challenge.

Thanks to those of you who have lent your support to my attempt to go 21 straight days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. And I haven't forgotten those of you who don't think I can do it, either.

Enough aggravations ensued Wednesday, including a mayoral forum and a city council meeting, that I probably would have cracked anyway. Under our ground rules, the day is blown, the discount on the book rises to 8%, and per usual, I'm free to complain until midnight. You can always come in to the store and buy the book for 12% off if you think I can make it. Or, you can wait to see if the discount doubles and then doubles again.

So Thursday will, again, be day one.

Day 9: Close Calls, but...

...I made it through a fifth day without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. But it wasn't easy.

When the wife comes home at night, I have a habit of "downloading" her on all the new information I've received during the day and all the things that happened at the store. For example, as we left the store on Monday night, I asked her if she had turned on the heat. As we left, I told her I had felt a blast of heat while passing the furnace, but she assured me she had only nudged the thermostat to keep the AC from running.

It turns out that an employee had reversed the settings from cool to heat, so Ann's frugal measure turned into a more costly one, probably much to the delight of Vectren. Ann made a brief stop at the store this morning and was hit with an oven blast of heat at about 80 degrees. Fortunately, she hit the kill switch so that when I arrived it was only a bit toasty.

But that's not a complaint. It's just the type of thing that we talk about and my prior inattention to "ear pollution" would have surely turned that discussion into a gripe. With my newly heightened awareness of the impact of my words, though, I can discuss such things without being such a grump.

Ann remarked that she has been pleasantly surprised at how "calm" I have been over the past several days. I'm hoping she'll contribute a post sometime this week, sharing with us what it's like to watch what we hope is a transformation.

Do you think this "Complaint Free World" concept can spread? Wouldn't it make life in Southern Indiana a lot more pleasant if we all were sensitive to how often we complain?

I honestly believe that the next few days will be the hardest. I promise to shoot straight with you. From everything author Will Bowen tells us in his new book, it's highly unlikely I'll be able to go 21 straight days at this early stage. And I promise to raise the bar, too.

Day 8: How am I doing, you ask?

Oh, no complaints. Thank you for asking.

We're now at four consecutive days in our quest to go 21 straight days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. Does e-mail count?

You will recall this is based on Will Bowen's phenomenal new book, A Complaint Free World, available at Destinations Booksellers, 604 East Spring Street, New Albany, Indiana.

Days 6 and 7: Hanging In There

It has been a busy weekend at the store, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. So far, I'm well on my way to completing a third consecutive day without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, despite the fact that local business and politics were part of the agenda. Try discussing those topics without breaking the challenge.

That leaves the discount locked in at 4%. Several of you have come in to buy the book and we're down to just one copy. If you want the book right now, we have more on order and the walk-up price is 12% off the retail price of $16.95. Many are holding out for a higher discount, expecting that when the discount doubles, then doubles again, and then doubles again, they'll get a bargain.

But only if I fail to meet the terms of the 21-day challenge. I will report again on Monday evening.

Day 5: Progress!

In like Flynn! No complaints today. We're locked in at 4% on the running discount, and we proceed to see if we can make it 2 days in a row in our quest for 21 straight days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. Saturday should be easier as I'll be surrounded by people all day. Our usual Saturday morning rush of customers will be followed by two - count 'em - two big events. At 4 we host David Domine and his new Kentucky-cooking cookbook. Then at 7, we'll close for a brief snack (probably dinner at La Rosita) and reopen the store at 8 for an All Hallows Party featuring the book launch for "Friends Forever: A Vampyre Tale." Costumes optional, though expected...for the cookbook appearance, of course.

Will Bowen offers this scripture from the apostle Paul in his epistle to the Philippians: Do everything without complaining.

In "A Complaint Free World," the book that is driving this challenge, Bowen gives this advice: After you have gone the months it takes to become a Complaint Free person, you will find that you will have changed...you will find that your mind no longer produces the deluge of unhappy thoughts you used to live with. Because you are not speaking them, you have no outlet for them, and the complaint factory in your mind closes down. You have shut off the spigot and the well has dried up. By changing your words, you have reshaped the way you think.

There might be something to that.

Day 4: It's "Groundhog Day"

Will Randy see his shadow today? Will his 21-day challenge begin all over again today?

I've taken to calling it provocation, as if such were an excuse for failing the challenge so far. A more passive sort would not even consider the past few days to have been provocative. But this duck can't let water roll off his back.

Let's quote Will Bowen again.

You have a right to get what you deserve. To achieve this, don't talk about or focus on the problem. Focus BEYOND the problem. See it resolved. Talk only about what you desire and only to someone who can provide it. You will shorten your wait time for what you seek and be happier in the process.

"But every great thing in our country began with people complaining...think about Thomas Jefferson and Martin Luther King!" an e-mail I received stated.

I realized that in one respect I agreed with the woman who sent the e-mail. The first step toward progress is dissatisfaction. But if we stay in dissatisfaction, we never move forward to brighter vistas. And those who complain as a matter of course chart their destination as being the same, unhappy port from which they sailed. Our focus must be on what we want to occur rather than what we do not. Complaining is focusing on what we don't want to occur.

So, what I learned today is that, if recast, neither of my stumbles yesterday would have qualified as complaints if I had restated them as desires for what I had wished to happen instead of as complaints. In fact, in retrospect, the second complaint was, in fact, phrased as an "I wish..."

My lovely and brilliant bride caught the distinction, too. My Wednesday complaint could have easily been turned into an affirming, non-ear-polluting comment.

Hey, maybe I'm starting to get with the program!

As for the daily report, I once again failed to avoid complaining. Made it deep into the day, though. Had a productive, pleasant day that included intricate book production, difficult orders, and even a smidgen of politics.

Then I went home. Streets were flooding, tornado sirens were blaring, the storm sewer grate in front of the house was filled with leaves and pine straw. Still, no complaints from this quarter. I even cleared the grate, looking forward to a nice dinner of spaghetti squash, soon to be followed by Shaker pumpkin pie.

I sat down to watch my favorite TV shows, particularly "30 Rock," with Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. The wife and I always catch "ER," too.

Not this Thursday. None of the networks affiliates could countenance the thought that another station might capture a single extra viewer, so we were treated to four hours (and counting) of nonstop hysteria-mongering. The Fox affiliate offered up the ALCS game between Cleveland and Boston, but even that was marred by weather graphics that obscured the game graphics.

Though Ann would differ with me on this, I still didn't quite "complain." I did, however, switch over to KET to watch a documentary on the Broadway musical. But as each musical was presented, just as the definitive piece of music would come up, "AAANKH, AAANKH, AAANKH - The National Weather Service has issued a heavy rain warning. Find a workbench in your basement, hide under it, and stay there all night - AAANKH, AAANKH, AAANKH."

I complained. Tell me you didn't.

For the record, the discount is now 4%. See you tomorrow night.

Day 3: Otherwise known as Day 1, squared

Wednesday began, as do so many others, at 12 midnight. I had just put down "A Complaint Free World," by Will Bowen. And then I went to sleep. So far, I had made it into the third day of our participatory challenge, knowing that scores, soon to be hundreds, were following my progress in trying to go 21 days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping.

I had failed my readers and myself the day before with a hysterical rant that put an end to more than 24 hours without a complaint. I knew that many were cheering me on and that others were deriving obscene pleasure from my trials.

Our publishing operations were running at full tilt, holiday orders were waiting for attention, and we lost a valued employee and were training a replacement. I planned to pretty much lock myself into the office and churn out some work, thus avoiding any stimuli that might tempt me to complain.

So how tough could it be? The city council was preparing to vote on an insanely flawed plan to draw legislative districts, but it was easy enough to avoid complaining about that. With litigation underway, no unilateral action by the council could have any bearing on the outcome of the lawsuit.

The new hire had proved to be an amazingly quick learner and wouldn't be working this day, anyway. After more than a year, the publishing operations were providing fewer and fewer annoying glitches. What could go wrong?

Ah, grasshopper. I made it to 3 o'clock before complaining. Interestingly, our major supplier made a visit, taking me to lunch at New Albany's finest gustatorium. That same supplier had failed to deliver our shipment today, subjecting all of us to the embarrassment of being unable to deliver promised product. And still, I did not complain. It was an altogether pleasant day with few provocations. I didn't even almost get killed walking to work.

Then my rep gave me some news. It's none of your business, but it involved an old wound, and I complained. Needlessly, but apparently instinctively. The wound has obviously not healed. Later in the evening, while lamenting the demise of another eatery and sharing the quite possibly tremendous news about who might step into the breach at the corner of Bank and Market, I complained again, without intent, but clearly.

For the record, I'm counting each day, not each complaint. So the running tab is two (2) complaint days. Now it gets interesting. Each time I complain, the discount on the book will double. Two more complaints and we reach the over-under number. One patron has locked in the 4.5 complaints discount, demonstrating support for my challenge. At least one other is holding out for the highest discount of 32 percent.

So, we begin again. Day 4 becomes Day 1 to the third power. See you tomorrow night.

Day 2: Impediments

Let's quote the author of "A Complaint Free World," Will Bowen.

"I found that I could do very well around some people but not so well around others. Sadly, I realized that my relationships with some people I considered good friends centered on expressing our dissatisfaction with whatever we were talking about. I began to avoid them. I felt guilty at first, but I noticed that my bracelet stayed put. More important, I found myself beginning to feel happier."

Early on Day 1, I received a call from a friend. Quite honestly, a major and usually enjoyable part of our relationship involves complaining, criticizing, and gossiping. Our complaints, criticisms, and gossip are exchanged with good motives and intentions to seek improvement in our community. And while I do not expect to be avoiding old friends and acquaintances, I will admit that I couldn't have picked a worse time to embark on this experiment.

I am keenly interested in how our government serves us. I have definite ideas about how other institutions serve or disserve our community. I'm confident, inquisitive, and persistent. I express my opinions and use facts to persuade others. If one is displeased about something and feels they have something to offer, it's natural to complain or criticize. Doing so does not mean that no solutions are being offered.

But while being "natural" has its benefits, it conflicts with the experiment. How, I ask, do things improve if no one ever expresses dissatisfaction? How do people with similar interests exchange information, rightly believed, without it turning into gossip?

And with an election pending, is it possible to advocate and hope for change without criticizing or complaining?

So, how'd I do on Tuesday?

I didn't make it. Tomorrow becomes Day 1 (again) as I once more try to go 21 days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping.

Suffice it to say that I was severely provoked while subjecting myself to an "unhealthy" environment. My downfall started when a whopping lie was told to a room full of merchants gathered to have a post-mortem on the recent Harvest Homecoming debacle. Still, I held out for more than 30 minutes. But when the current president of Develop New Albany started defending the self-appointed HH gestapo, I blew. And I mean big time.

I haven't been so angry in a quarter century, and as disruptive as my rant was, I at least had the courtesy to remove myself rapidly.

So, off we go. Tomorrow, we try again with Day 1.

Thanks to all who have been supportive and equally sincere thanks to those who a getting their kicks seeing their predictions that I couldn't do it come true.

Day 1: A Complaint-Free Day?

Writing a blog entry that accurately reports what happened during the day could be construed by a strict referee as "complaining." So I'll be extremely careful to give you the full flavor of the day's events, but I won't be "complaining."

I'm invoking the free speech rule and the no-intent rule. In reporting to you, I have no intent to complain.

To be sure, it is the unintentional complaint that will get you every time. Part of the experiment is to monitor how often you inadvertently find yourself in complaint mode. Simply putting a stop to the "vertent" ones ought to be simpler. But if your instinct is to complain, it's hard to know when your resolve will falter.

I had expected to be on guard all day, measuring my responses to every stimulus in order to avoid complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. In fact, much time passed during this first day where I didn't even think about the experiment. To me, that constitutes a dangerous risk. From everything I've read, this is not supposed to be easy. After one week, Will Bowen, the man who started this experiment in the summer of 2006 (and a man who pastors a church) had been unable to get his personal best down to fewer than five complaints a day. At that point, he was averaging 12 complaints a day, and it took him until September of 2006 to successfully complete 21 straight days without complaining.

It seems that ignorance breeds confidence. If you knew how hard it would be to master a new skill, whether it be skiing, yodeling, or stopping the complaining in your life, you might not even try.

It seems that I'm "supposed" to catch myself complaining multiple times each day. Day 1, then, would be measured as an anomaly if I'm doing this thing right.

So, here's the report:

At five this morning, the next door neighbor with the oversize diesel truck fires it up and revs it outside our open window...no complaint.

At nine, while stepping across Silver Street, a car came racing through the intersection without even slowing down at the flashing red light, coming very close to putting an end to the experiment forever...no complaint, although the cars all around me registered their displeasure by leaning on their horns.

At ten, the manager of one of the city's political campaigns asked me "How's business?" I responded, "Slow." I then explained to him the experiment we are conducting and asked him if that sounded like a complaint. "Of course not," he said. "You were just answering a question."

By noon, I had been asked about how satisfied with the subscription fruit and vegetable, community supported agriculture, family farm program we are nearing the end of. I told my interrogator that the Web site was not the program's strong point, in that they often don't update the "menu" of produce each week until it's too late to plan a home menu, but then the questioner was explicity asking me the details of how it works. This questioner is a foodie who knew that this was Day 1, so I asked her to keep me honest by asking "Was that a complaint?" She assured me it wasn't.

By one, I discovered that one of my suppliers had failed to deliver some urgently needed books. For this supplier, this happens often enough that I didn't even consider voicing a complaint.

At 3:30, my newest employee's mom called to inform me that her daughter would be late for her first day at work...again, no complaint.

To be sure, I did have a few close calls where we had to go to the replay for a mandatory review. I scolded myself three times during the day for being fumble-fingered on the keyboard. One rather light-hearted "damn," one whispered "fudge," and one soft-breathed traditional Anglo-Saxon curse word that can be quite offensive when used in anger. But they weren't used in anger and they were directed at my own clumsiness.

And finally, near the end of the day, while sharing the events of the day with my spouse, I told her that conducting training can be harder than it looks, that it can be exhausting. Although she assured me that this did not qualify as a complaint, it doesn't matter, because she had left the building and never even heard me say those words.

I avoided complaining several times where I might normally have done so. Whenever there was a doubt, I asked someone within earshot whether what I said was a complaint or sounded like one and always received a response of "no."

Signing off at 9 p.m.

Tuesday: The Gimmick

Keep those comments coming. Help me make it through Day 2. And if you're in the store or see me on the street, feel free to check on my progress.

Step Right Up, Place Your Bets!

Please join me as I embark on an adventure. I'll be "blogging" daily as I progress through a regimen suggested by the book "A Complaint Free World."

As titles go, that's pretty idealistic, but if you want to test reality, read the subtitle: "How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted: Take the 21-day Challenge."

Those of you who know me well understand that for me to stop complaining is to take away a big part of who I am. As some critics of the book insist (and I find myself agreeing with them as I begin this journey), it might well be immoral to stop complaining.

Nonetheless, starting Monday night, I'm going to begin reading the book (by Will Bower) and putting into practice its thesis. Not knowing all the details of the program, I'll be flying blind at first, but here is what I'm going to do:

Beginning when the alarm goes off Monday, I will refuse to complain. Given that I am seldom alone, I'll be counting on those around me, including our patrons, to keep me honest. If, while in the presence of another person, I issue a complaint of any sort, I will report it here.

Exempted will be any complaints I make while alone, unless I later discover that the program requires me not to do that, either. Also exempt will be reports of complaints I was tempted to make. If I don't tell you where "not complaining" was tough to do (not do?), it won't be interesting now, will it?

To make it interesting, I'm offering a betting pool tied to the price of the book. If and when I break and make my first complaint, I'll offer readers a 1% discount on the book. Upon my second complaint, I'll double that to 2%. Here's where it will begin to get interesting.

Every complaint that follows will see the discount double - to 4%, then 8%, then 16%, and then 32% off the cover price of $16.95. If my number of complaints exceeds that, I will have failed - in my mission and as a businessman, and we'll stop the pool.

If you don't like to gamble, then we're offering a flat 12% discount to blog readers. You can take that discount now. If you think I'm going to fail more than 4 times, you'll pass up the open discount and hold out for the 16% or 32% levels.

The 12% discount is in place for one week (until close of business on Sunday, Oct. 21) or until I make my fourth complaint.

Can I do it? We'll see. I'm told there is a theory that if you can "break" a habit for 21 consecutive days, you can break it forever. I don't know if I believe it, but I do have enough faith in the try itself that I believe it will make me a better person.

See you here on Monday. Think I can make it until then without complaining?

I invite you to post your prediction of the over/under. The 12% wager is an over/under bet of 4.5. If you think I'll wimp out and complain more than 4 times in the next 21 days, then hold out. If you think I can make it, you'd better grab the 12% now.

Please add your comments as we go along. The 21-day countdown starts...NOW!

A Comeback?

Got a complaint? Well, this just might be the place you'll want to visit over the next three weeks.

And yes, I have a book I want you to buy. After all, that's how I feed myself, not to mention how I pay for this Internet connection.

Details to follow...